Brandon and Slogan

I'll admit I got a bit carried away on this one, but you can't perfect every verse when you're trying to put out a poem every day!


Brandon and Slogan were
walking through town
when they spotted a lady
still in her night gown,
"Maybe it's Maybelline."
One said as she turned
"It can only be Jared!"
The other discerned
"No, it's the real thing!
"Should I talk to the girl?"
"Just do it, my friend!
 "Give her a whirl!"

As Brandon approached
A fatso rushed in,
Took the girl by the arm
And strode away with a grin
"You're in good hands," he said
as he pulled her away,
"And mmm  mmm mmm toasty!
"we need to find Kay!"
The lady yanked free
And sarcastically said
"Why Chevy, You are like a rock!
". . . .to my head!!"

"That's the quicker, thicker picker-upper!"-
(Slogan recognized the ass)
"And every kiss begins with Kay!
"Come now, Brandon!  Save the lass!"
"My name is Brandon Smucker,
"and I hail from Hollywood!"
The bully turned in fear toward him
"With a name like that, you must be good!"
Brandon pulled a slingshot
From the pocket of his shorts,
"I don't leave home without it!
"And I'm good at seven sports!
"If you don't think I'm serious
"Then have it your way, jerk!
"I've got a reputation,
"Just ask about it at work!"

The massive man began to dance-
"Da da da da dah- I'm lovin' it-
"You and your threats!
"Why don't you start shovin' it!?
"I eat the breakfast of champions
"And I'm reserving the right
"To reach out and touch someone
"Get out of my sight!
"You think you want a piece of this?
"A little dab'll do ya!
"When it rains, it pours from these two fists
"Come on, I'll sock it to ya!"

"Well I eat fresh!" Slogan yelled
"You don't want to mess with me!
"My big sis has friends in higher places
"Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee!!"
"But where's the beef you skinny shrimp?"
The oaf then shouted back
"This dame looks finger-lickin' good,
"And I'm taking her to my shack!"
At last the lady broke her silence,
"That's so easy a cave man could do it!
"Why don't you court me, you audacious brute?
"Come now, be a gentleman, hop to it!
"Besides," she said, looking overhead
"At the clock tower, starting to chime,
"You boys will all miss happy hour-
"Can't you see? . . . It's Miller time!"