(I've Had) The Meal Of My Life

 My lovely wife took me out for my birthday last night- it was probably my most enjoyable birthday on record! (Thanks Love!)

This began as a tribute, but quickly morphed into something fictitious and farcical. . . . . .
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[Sung to the tune of:  (I've Had) The Time Of My Life]
You can play the song here and sing along!

Me: Last night I went out with my wife
And I never ate that much before
Yes I swear it's the truth
and I think my belly grew

Wife: And I bought that meal just for you
and yes, I believe it grew

Me: We went to a fancy place
and my girl, she said with grace
"Get anything."

Wife: My husband's such a male-
ordered steak and lobster tail, so pricey!

Both: But first we got an appetizer-
it was green tomatoes fried and so greasy!
So we ordered wine and beer
And tried to shake our fear of calories.

Me: Just save room for

Wife: Dessert and coffee

Me: How about creme brule?

Wife: I'd rather have bread pudding

Both: Yeah, let's get that because

(CHORUS)

Both: This is the meal of my life
No I never ate this much before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And it sounds a bit uncouth
But this is the meal of my life
And I'll need to lie down upon the floor
Baby it's the the truth
And I owe it all to you

Wife: Babe you've eaten all the crumbs
and you look like you could really use a tums.

Me: Darling that stuff works too slow
I think what I need is pepto

Wife: I'm beginning to feel it too
Do you think it's this decaff brew?

Me: Indigestion
My gut is swelling

Wife: I think I've heard enough

Me: Listen to my ears ring!

Both: We should go home because

(CHORUS)

Both: I had the meal of my life
No I've never hurt this bad before
I swear I've turned blue
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the meal of my life
But it feels a little more like death
I now have rancid breath
And we're gonna be so poor.

*Instrumental*

Me: Now I've had the meal of my life
No I never ate this way before
(Wife: Never ate this way)
Boy: Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

Both: 'Cause I had the meal of my life
But it feels a little more like death

I now have rancid breath

And we're gonna be so poor.
Both:  Because that was the meal of my life
I'll need to lie down upon the floor
Baby it's the the truth
And I owe it all to you